Rabbi Esther Lederman

I decided to become a Next Dor rabbi because I wished there could have been a rabbi I would have talked to when I was in my early 20s. Of course, I say that now, now that I know the title rabbi can convey things like fresh, intelligent, edgy and unconventional. When I was 24 years old, you would have had to pay me to talk to a rabbi. Or at least entice me with a great latte or glass of wine.

I know this is going to sound arrogant, but I wish I could have talked to a rabbi like me when I was in my 20s and couldn’t figure how to live a meaningful Jewish life.

The irony is that I was a product of Jewish day-school, Zionist summer camp and active Jewish engagement on a college campus. I even worked for a Jewish non-profit! But, my Friday nights were spent drinking in bars, or dancing at parties, only vaguely aware I was missing the Shabbes meals of my parents home. I still avoided pork and shellfish but you could have really chalked that up to the fact that I was the eldest child who still had a desire to play by the rules. I had plenty of Jewish friends but we didn’t do anything ‘Jewish’ together -- no Shabbat meals, no holiday gatherings. I missed the community and spirit of summer camp – singing songs in unison, welcoming Shabbat by the lake, being challenged by Jewish ideas of justice and hesed, tikkun olam and communal obligations. I was a lost Jewish soul and the last place on earth I would have looked for a home was a synagogue. I still think I became a rabbi so I could walk into a synagogue and feel like I belonged.

I tell you this because this is the story I draw on to do my work as a Next Dor rabbi in Washington, DC, even though I am quickly (too quickly!) aging out of this cohort. This is sometimes the story I tell to Jews in their 20s and 30s, when I’m sitting across from them over a cup of coffee or a beer. I tell them this story so they can know that I’m a fellow traveler.

As the assistant rabbi at Temple Micah, I devote serious time to engaging Jews in their 20s and 30s. Over the course of the past 18 months, we have come into contact with roughly 400 such Jews and sometimes, their non-Jewish partners or friends. Many attend our monthly Shabbat dinners; many more attended our free and ticketless high holidays services with Michelle Citrin. Some come to services at Micah on a regular basis; many more ask to be on our email list, a way to stay connected, but still have not attended a dinner or a service. A small group (20+) have decided to join Micah at our introductory rate of $36. A smaller number have begun to organize events for themselves. Two examples are a pottery class devoted to making a seder plate and a monthly Shabbat dinner meet up at services.

The context for this work is very challenging. One of the challenges is our location – both Micah’s and Washington D.C. Micah is not metro-accessible, the main vehicle of transport for most folks in this age demographic. If part of our goal is to lower the barriers to engagement and to make the synagogue accessible, getting Jews here can be quite difficult. But even more difficult is the transient nature of D.C., a fact already compounded by the transient nature of the lives of the millennial generation. People are always moving here and leaving here. Many people come here for grad school and then leave for a job elsewhere. Or, many come here right out of college, work on the Hill or for some fabulous non-profit, put in a couple years of service,and then head to California or the east coast for graduate school. I feel like I’m always welcoming someone new or saying goodbye to a relationship we’ve cultivated.

The transiency of which I speak makes it very hard to build long-lasting relationships with potential leaders who will be stakeholders in Next Dor DC. When I began this work, I was all geared up to create a leadership team and build a sense of ownership for Next Dor DC. Coming from the world of community organizing where the iron rule is “never do for another what they are capable of doing for themselves,” I imagined a community of people organizing their own Shabbat dinners, salons, and communal outings. But I soon realized that the iron rule couldn’t apply here because they weren’t yet capable of doing any of this for themselves. No one really had the Jewish literacy. Having them organize a Shabbat dinner on their own would be like asking me to build a rocket ship. So I had to scale back my ambition and realize that it would take time to find the right stakeholders. In the meantime, I would continue to work on relationships, create Jewish spaces for them to encounter each other (i.e. Shabbat dinners) and see if I could develop within them a sense of ownership for their own Jewish lives, rather than for the community and project itself. This is largely where we are today. Every month we have at least one or two Next Dor DC events, what I think of as the spaces where Jews in their 20s/30s can meet each other and do Jewish together. I’m usually in contact with 2-3 new folks a month, who either have found us or we found them.

How will we judge our success? I have avoided judging our success by numbers. Yet, sometimes, that is often the evaluative tool most people (and by people, I mean funders) want. We have 213 people on our email list, 102 fans on Facebook, 350 people who attended our High Holiday services and over 20 individuals who decided to join Micah. But I still search – what will success mean for me? For these individuals?

Part of how I evaluate our success is whether the individuals we touch feel that there is a place for them in Judaism. Do they feel welcome, whether at a Shabbat dinner, in a conversation, or in our services? Have we reduced the barriers to engagement (i.e. no tickets for high holiday services)? And the hope (and prayer) is that once they feel like there is a place for them, that will lead them to invest their own capital (time, intellect and eventually, financial resources) to deepen their engagement. So far, it’s happening on a small scale, but it is happening.

What will happen next with Next Dor DC? Our plans are continuing – for more Shabbat dinners, for more meet-ups at services, for more learning opportunities and community service projects. And of course, plans are under way for Next Dor DC ticketless high holiday services. The challenge still is – can we turn these programs and spaces into moments of real meeting and deepening engagement, for people to develop meaningful relationships with each other, and with the text of Jewish teachings and practices. That will be the ultimate test of our success.